Every other day or every four days I'm asking Peter to evaluate me. How's my mood? How's my irritability? Do I look thinner? What about my face? Is it still pudgy? Do you notice any changes in my behavior? I'm very vulnerable with my husband (and apparently with you, dear reader).
This is what we've come up with. so far.
Physical changes: Without my asking, he usually comments on my physical changes 2+ times a day. I don't mind. It's nice to be recognized for hard work. I have noticed changes too. I sleep through the night- hard. I use to wake up every night to go potty. Not anymore- I'm out like a light. I use to wake up not feeling very rested because I had vivid dreams of slaying dragons and the sort. I still have some dreams but I'm not aware of it until morning. Before I was half awake because of the dream. Not anymore. Peter says I'm much more patient (and the jaws drop)!! I also noticed I am more patient with my kids at school. My clothes are falling off. Just a few weeks ago I was jumping and hoisting myself into them; now I need to wash them so they'll shrink. My skin is clearer. I haven't had acne for over 10 years but I noticed my skin has a better complexion; it seems more smooth. This next one really blows me out of the water. Ready? I have never liked dark chocolate. Never. Not even the hardly dark chocolate. Well, 2 oz of 73% cacao chocolate is acceptable in my daily intake. I don't eat chocolate every day but to prepare for sugar cravings I bought a bar. A few days into the plan I tried it and wanted to die. I seriously wanted to eat a cucumber after I detested the taste so strongly. I didn't touch the chocolate bar for a few weeks. I picked it up again just a day or two ago. Guess what!? I loved it! It was delicious! It tasted like milk chocolate. I couldn't believe it. Case in point? My taste buds were high jacked by the food industry, artificial sweeteners, and processed sugar & carbs. Eliminating such processed food, dare I say: toxins, from my body completely reprogramed my taste buds in a matter of three weeks. Perhaps less if I had tried it again sooner. (!!!!) Imagine what you might like?!?!
Emotional changes: Before, I use to poke and pester Peter just goofing around. He didn't like it very much. I didn't notice until a few days ago but I completely stopped that without even thinking about it. My thought is that I use to seek extra attention and now I am a) more (healthily) independent b) feeling more secure in myself c) just content to do my own thing d) none/all of the above. I also have not even thought about buying a puppy since starting my new food plan. My feelings of loneliness have vanished. Tonight I knew I would be home alone for a few hours and I actually looked forward to the solitude. (!!!) These are big changes for me folks.
Mental changes: In my old self, if their was junk food around whether it be in the lunch room, at a friend's house, at my parents' house, Costco samples, you name it- I had next to zilch willpower to walk away from it. I could postpone consumption but 99% of the time it got the best of me. Here's the kicker- I'm still facing the same junk- the lounge at school has been inundated with left over bake sale goods, unwanted Valentine's candy from students, personal Valentine treats, the principle has been trying out baked goods and then bringing it to school, our parents' houses are still inundated with my favorites- ice cream & nacho Dorritos. Peter still eats Costco pizza and the most delicious mac-n-cheese (I make it for him!) but guess what! What use to be impossible to walk away from is no longer even the slightest of temptation. The whole foods I'm putting in my body are actually changing the chemistry in my brain. No amount of willpower was going to keep me from a cupcake with extra frosting. It's just a fact of life. I tried the willpower strategy for 10 years- didn't have an impact. Now, I can walk past, sit near and smell the most delicious baked treat without difficulty. Guys, this is rocking my world! My brain is changing!
Spiritual changes: I use to eat alright, bad or terrible and go to bed feeling like a failure. I told myself I would change. I told Peter I would change. I told God I would change. But I didn't change. Food consumed most of my thoughts and I hated it. I would eat lunch and think about dinner. I would sit in a room filled with temptations and not focus on the conversations around me but instead talk to myself. "Don't eat it. Oh come on. You'll eat well tomorrow, it's "x" holiday. No. Oh but you never get to eat those! You don't want to miss out." This dialogue was constant and drove me nuts. It was all-consuming. So, I would give in to make the conversation stop, fall off the wagon from there and then when I finally laid my head down that night declare, "Tomorrow, (insert date) I'll start eating well." The cycle just repeated. I felt guilty for knowing my problem, promising everyone to change and then failing time after time. Peter would give me accountability but that never worked. I felt guilty that I spent so much time thinking about food instead of more important things like others, showing love, trying to be more Christ-like, etc. It was a fierce battle and I was losing. Now, I hardly ever think about food! If I do it usually goes something along the lines of, "Oh man, it's time to eat again? Ug!" or "Ok, we're meeting friends at the Yard House. Check out the menu online and see what's for dinner." or "We're going to your parents', what should I bring to eat?" These are five minute thoughts that lead to good conclusions, not battles that never end and I always lose. I have better things to focus on now and I'm keeping my promises!
I share my (vulnerable) story to offer encouragement, support, let you know someone else has the same struggles as you, whatever it maybe...This life change I made over 3 weeks ago is about more than losing weight; I'm taking care of my whole body 'cause it's all connected.
Let me know if you have any questions at laurastyffe@gmail.com
xo, p&l
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